Oh-wee, oh-wye.

While writing a final paper on the saliency of class in 20th century America, I decided to listen to some American tunes. Toward the end of a Pete Seeger compilation, "If I Had a Hammer," I ran into this great song "Arrange and Rearrange." In this great tune, Pete and a friend sing about the evershifting nature of life. They also instruct children to swear.

"Perhaps the biggest change will come
When we don't have to change much at all.
When maniacs holler 'grow, grow, grow'
We can choose to be small.
The key word may be 'little,'
We only have to change a little bit.
Eat a little food, drink a little drink,
And only have to shit a little shit.
Oh-wee, oh-wye, and only have to shit a little shit.
Oh-wee, oh-wye, and only have to shit a little shit."

Pete follows this with a little clarification.

"I know you have been told, 'you will not say that word in this house.' But you're not in that house now. We're trying to save the world. And you know its not the words people say that are the problem. It's the bad things people do, and grown ups are doing most of them, right? So sing it again!"

So friends, next time you shit a little shit, just know you're saving the world.

It's time.

It's time I had these well-documented. Thanks to friends/various other sources. Without further introduction, here are some Animal Puns, better read out loud...

• you otter know
• for goodness snakes
• gopher the gold
• mice to see ya
• whale done
• owl, you hurt me
• toadally awesome
• I lost narwhal-let
• I'm mantis-ipating your arrival
• stop gibbon me crap
• I didn't do that on porpoise
• Giraffe a nice day
• Lance Armstrong is going to race in the Tortoise-France again
• gorilla me a cheese sandwich (I stole this one from a knock knock joke book I had as a child)
• Lion up and dance
• get trout of my garden!
• The weather is quite pheasant
• I'm wearing macaque-ies today!
• that film got a raven review.
• can you sparrow me some change
• I did it for the halibut
• I wish I cod see her tonight.
• Ostrich out my legs before running
• Crow away/I don't want to crow up
• Jackal all trades
• We mustang out again soon
• A Koala-ty school.
• a walrus-spected man
• Alpaca you a sandwich
• Ouch, I pulled my hamstering
• must ox for your permission
• Iguana go sealion king this weekend.
• the psychic practiced pelican-esis
• I have for-gibbon ye.

eh.